Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough. --Og Mandino
Fear and Love
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both. --Niccolo Machiavelli
No Regrets
People who say, “I have no regrets,” are not telling the truth. They should truthfully say either, “I avoid thinking about my regrets,” or, “I am content with the regrets I have chosen.” Every choice made in life excludes the opportunity for another experience, given the limits of time and resources. If I choose to go to the mountains this weekend, I cannot at the same time go to the beach. While I may prefer the benefits of going to the mountains, I am still missing out on the benefits of going to the beach. I may choose benefits of self employment, but I miss out on the opportunity to have the relative stability of being an employee of someone else. I may choose the benefits of not marrying, but I miss out on the opportunity of experiencing the depth of committed relationships of a spouse and children in a cohesive family. There is a price to be paid for every choice, an opportunity missed for every opportunity taken, a regret to be had for every regret avoided. The best we can do is to choose our regrets wisely. --Steven R. Hobbs
Cannot Do, Can Do
“Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.” --John Wooden
I've Failed
“I’ve failed over and over again in my life, and that is why I succeed.” --Michael Jordan
Essential Components
Three essential components of psychological health are 1. the ability to openly and honestly communicate thoughts, feelings, and behaviors with another, 2. the ability to honor agreements and disagreements, commonalities and distinctions, and 3. the ability to use personal resources to accomplish values-directed goals. --Steven R. Hobbs
Nothing Will Work
“Nothing will work unless you do.” --Maya Angelou
5 Behaviors Guaranteed to Increase Happiness: #3 of 5
“View yourself as actively capable of making changes in your life, rather than as a passive, helpless victim. Make use of your own agency. Take responsibility for being the architect of much of your own misery, and choose to build success instead.” —Dr. Stephen Marmer; December 9, 2022; The Dennis Prager Show
5 Behaviors Guaranteed to Increase Happiness: #2 of 5
“Keep positive thoughts and perceptions about others, even when they disappoint you.” —Dr. Stephen Marmer; December 9, 2022; The Dennis Prager Show
5 Behaviors Guaranteed to Increase Happiness: #1 of 5
“Learn to tolerate increased anxiety and stress without acting out.” —Dr. Stephen Marmer; December 22, 2022; The Dennis Prager Show
The Art of Being Happy
The art of being happy lies in the power of extracting happiness from common things. --Henry Ward Beecher
Pessimist, Optimist, Realist
“The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails.” --William Arthur Ward
Difficult Families
“With difficult families, the therapist must be predictable enough to be relied on by the family, but not so predictable that he can be easily anticipated, thus he can bring about change. One must be predictable in one’s commitment to solving the family problem but unpredictable and inconsistent in moment-to-moment maneuvers.” --Jay Haley in Leaving Home: the Therapy of Disturbed Young People, pg. 276
Up and Down
“The man who will get up will be helped up; and the man who will not get up will be allowed to stay down.” —Frederick Douglass
Learn from Defeat
“If you learn from defeat, you haven’t really lost.” —Zig Ziglar
Motion and Action
“Never mistake motion for action.” —Ernest Hemmingway
Discipline and Wisdom
Apply your heart to instruction and your ears to words of knowledge.
Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish them with the rod, they will not die. Punish them with the rod and save them from death.
My son, if your heart is wise, then my heart will be glad indeed; my inmost being will rejoice when your lips speak what is right.
—Proverbs 23:12-16
If I Am
“If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, what am I? If not now, when?” —Rabbi Hillel
Getting Things Done
“The whole point of getting things done is knowing what to leave undone.” —Oswald Chambers
Today's Problems
“Today’s problems are yesterday’s solutions.” —Peter Senge