No Regrets

People who say, “I have no regrets,” are not telling the truth.  They should truthfully say either, “I avoid thinking about my regrets,” or, “I am content with the regrets I have chosen.”  Every choice made in life excludes the opportunity for another experience, given the limits of time and resources.  If I choose to go to the mountains this weekend, I cannot at the same time go to the beach.  While I may prefer the benefits of going to the mountains, I am still missing out on the benefits of going to the beach.  I may choose benefits of self employment, but I miss out on the opportunity to have the relative stability of being an employee of someone else.  I may choose the benefits of not marrying, but I miss out on the opportunity of experiencing the depth of committed relationships of a spouse and children in a cohesive family.  There is a price to be paid for every choice, an opportunity missed for every opportunity taken, a regret to be had for every regret avoided.  The best we can do is to choose our regrets wisely.  --Steven R. Hobbs

Essential Components

Three essential components of psychological health are 1. the ability to openly and honestly communicate thoughts, feelings, and behaviors with another, 2. the ability to honor agreements and disagreements, commonalities and distinctions, and 3. the ability to use personal resources to accomplish values-directed goals.  --Steven R. Hobbs

5 Behaviors Guaranteed to Increase Happiness: #3 of 5

“View yourself as actively capable of making changes in your life, rather than as a passive, helpless victim. Make use of your own agency. Take responsibility for being the architect of much of your own misery, and choose to build success instead.” —Dr. Stephen Marmer; December 9, 2022; The Dennis Prager Show

Difficult Families

“With difficult families, the therapist must be predictable enough to be relied on by the family, but not so predictable that he can be easily anticipated, thus he can bring about change. One must be predictable in one’s commitment to solving the family problem but unpredictable and inconsistent in moment-to-moment maneuvers.” --Jay Haley in Leaving Home: the Therapy of Disturbed Young People, pg. 276

Discipline and Wisdom

Apply your heart to instruction and your ears to words of knowledge.

Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish them with the rod, they will not die. Punish them with the rod and save them from death.

My son, if your heart is wise, then my heart will be glad indeed; my inmost being will rejoice when your lips speak what is right.

—Proverbs 23:12-16